Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize