Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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