I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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