In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize