I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
50% drunk capacity currently
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
