Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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