I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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