did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
