watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
