i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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