your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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