you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
