he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
