i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
