come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
