Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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