No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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