Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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