Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize