In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
