That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
