it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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