Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
