I bet he comes in French.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
