I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
