is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
