Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
