i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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