But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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