susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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