Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
