Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
