I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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