woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
