I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
