with your own penis?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
