my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
These tits shall not be calmed
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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