She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
