"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
