Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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