I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize