When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize