i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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