On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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