did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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