I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
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