Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
