so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Randomize
