everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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