yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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