Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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