Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
