U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
