We won't sleep together?
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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