never play flip cup with pint glasses
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
