At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
