Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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